WaW Before I Do: Choose Godly Sponsors
My 15-year stint as a wedding photographer has taken me around the world shooting different religions, cultures, and nationalities and this I can say “It is only in the Philippines where they have Principal Sponsors.” Are they really important? And if so, why do we have them?
Principal Sponsors are supposedly people in the couple’s lives whom they respect and listen to. They can be people who are popular, powerful, prominent or rich but not necessarily. Unfortunately, because too many people have chosen principal sponsors based on these traits, it has watered down the importance of the role as principal sponsors. Sponsors have said “yes” to becoming sponsors just for the sake of “Delikadeza” never to be seen again after the wedding.
I personally have attended weddings where, to my shock, there have been as many as 15 sets of principal sponsors. So many that it has been branded as “Business” because sponsors are expected to give “Gifts”. Two of the most memorable gifts I was able to witness comes from 2 presidents of the Philippines. First was Ramos who just gave a book on righteous living and the 2nd one comes from GMA when she was still president. She gave a huge heavy wooden box with a nice emblem of “The President of the Philippines” on top of it. Wondering what’s inside, I stayed until it got opened. We were all shocked at what’s inside — Fresh air! There was nothing except the box. I admired these two for giving the gifts they gave… they had the capacity to give more but they did not give in to pressure. The gifts were simple and yet deep.
Now that I officiate weddings as a pastor, I do stress the importance of getting the right Principal Sponsors. At one point in every marriage ceremony I solemnize, I actually spend a few minutes talking to them and making sure they know what they’re getting into and commit to it before the Lord.
Some downplay the role of the principal sponsors, but with all my heart I believe their roles are far more important than to be eye candies during the wedding. Choose the right ones and you never know if someday they’ll be the ones to come to your rescue. Here are my personal criteria for choosing them.
Relationship – No matter how great your sponsors are, if there is no relationship (or chemistry). Get sponsors who you will often see or at least reachable in case you need them. Not someone who you only see every 5 years. Do not let your parents dictate who you should get simply because they are partners in business or close friends. If they are truly their dear friends, or partners, then explain to them that they are doing them a favor by sparing them the trouble. Don’t get people who are so high in their status that you can’t contact them directly or you’d have to schedule a slot with their secretary to get an appointment. Either they won’t have time for you or won’t even remember who you are.
I’ve personally said “no” to many offers to be one of the principal sponsors because I want to be a responsible sponsor who will be there when my inaanaks need me.
Righteous living – Unfortunately, Rich is not one of the R’s. There are many more things that are far more important than money. Righteousness does not mean being right in man’s eyes. The righteousness I am talking about is being right before God! This criteria is good for Christians and non-Christians alike. If you read the bible, you’d know what I am talking about. A righteous man is indeed a sponsor you’d love to have.
Respected – At least enough for you to listen to him or her. If you don’t respect your sponsor, you won’t even bother talking to the person in case your marriage encounters bumps. I personally will respect a person who I know has wisdom and loves me enough to tell me the truth even when it hurts.
So, if you’ve gotten married years back and it’s now too late to get married, what must you do? Here are 2 things you can do. Reconnect with them even if you’ve not heard from each other since the wedding, which was 10 years ago. Give them a call and ask if you could visit them in your homes. I’m sure they’d appreciate that. If you had sponsors who did not fit the criteria I gave, then find a couple’s group whose leader lives a life worthy to be followed. Perhaps, in case you guys decide to renew your vows someday, you’d have a better chance to pick good sponsors.
Read more of John and Monique Ong’s WaW Before I Do articles at weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-before-i-do/.
About John & Monique Ong:
John is a pastor at Revelation City Church, Scuba Diving instructor and owns Imagine Nation photo + Video. He is a graduate of business management at DLSU and took up Masteral in Marketing in the same school and is currently in the Pastoral counseling course at Asian Theological Seminary. Monique is a creative wife / help mate to John, a wedding hosts and heads Post Ad ventures (an Events Management company), a youth pastor in Revelation and writes in their blog called “an ounce of faith”. She took Tourism in UP Diliman.
