My Future Surname

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Mrs…???

Under the law, a married woman can opt to use (1) her maiden name, (2) her maiden name and her husband’s surname with the hyphen in the middle, or (3) her husband’s surname. However, once you have made the choice, you have to use it consistently for the rest of your life — i.e., all your records with SSS, Philhealth, Pag-ibig, BIR, passport, driver’s license, bank account, etc. have to show the same surname. Once you’ve made the choice, it would be very hard (and such a hassle) to change it so think it over carefully.

One dilemma or question that is quite hard to deal with for some, especially those brides who made a name for themselves already while single, is to decide which surname to use; use husband’s surname or hyphenate the surname.

I myself was one who wanted to retain my old surname and I regret doing so. To think that I felt so proud of myself to have found an LTO (after going through 2 rejections) that would allow me to hyphenate my surname.

Why do I regret it? After a couple of years it feels old and I found it easier to just say Mrs. Rana than say Mrs. Co-Rana not having to perennially correct the Corana they hear.

I missed several opportunities, like the ultrasound guy calling my husband Mr Co-Rana and he wasn’t expecting that, thus missing watching our firstborn’s first ultrasound, my friends having a really hard time finding my hospital room upon giving birth because there really is no Mrs Rana or Miss Co. And me having to wait long because they can’t find my paper filed under C for Co-Rana or finding Rana when I am filed under C.

And those wasted hours are no joke!

Also having to explain why my two valid government issued ID’s are not matching. One is Co-Rana, another is Rana. I wasn’t allowed by DFA to use Co-Rana.

I feel strongly about these inconveniences that I would repeatedly tell newlyweds to not hyphenate. If you really love your maiden name use it for social media or not legal ID’s.

But of course this is just my view. I asked our NaWies who used hyphenated surnames and I found a few who are happy about it and say that the inconveniences they went through are well worth it.

Those who are professionals, like doctors and architects, retained they maiden names with the PRC ID’s as tribute to their parents who paid for their tuition and made them who they are now.

If you want to go the hyphenated surname route, please be prepare for the following inconveniences:

1. Online forms. Some don’t accept special characters. So no hyphen pag finill-out ‘yung form.

2. Some offices will really not allow you to have hyphenated surname so your official documents will have some hyphenated and others will have your husband’s surname

3. Files being lost as they are not sure which alphabet to file your files in

4. Boxes provided are not enough to fit the hyphenated surname

5. Some offices ask you to provide supporting documents why your surname is hyphenated

Photo by Chino Dizon of www.chinodizon.com

WaW Column Wedding Tip Sheet: How does one start preparing for a wedding?

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[cs_content][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text]Editor’s Note: This is former Wedding Coordinator extraordinaire, Darlene Tan-Salazar’s very first entry for WaW Wedding Tip Sheet. The Wedding Tip Sheet are practical tips on how to plan, coordinate and organize your wedding efficiently. [/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text]Did you just get engaged?

After the initial high of the proposal comes the daunting task of planning for the wedding and your life together as husband and wife.

How does one start planning for a wedding?

Below are some suggested steps:

A.Inform your parents of your plan to get married before all other details.

Avoid planning in secret. Have them say their two cents at the beginning. That’s easier than having to deal with changes when you’ve already prepared and booked a lot of suppliers.

Important Note: Join the Weddings at Work community so you can get feedback from real couples regarding your plans and prospective suppliers.

B. Decide on what kind of wedding you want to have — intimate, mid-size, or big; within the metro or out of town; formal or laidback.

Scout for suppliers to have a general idea regarding how much they cost, then plan, and make a realistic budget before even booking anybody.

You don’t need to ask each supplier for a rate sheet, that would be too time consuming on your part.
Check out their websites first and/or ask fellow brides/grooms regarding feedback and fees.

C. Decide on your ceremony venue.

The ceremony reservation gives you a final date and an anchor for reserving your reception venue.

It also gives you a chance to send inquiries to suppliers because you have a final date and a ceremony venue. Yes, you need to include those details — including the reception venue — when you inquire so suppliers can determine availability and give you correct out of town rates, if applicable.

Before booking your ceremony venue, ask about restrictions. That way, you won’t be surprised about additional fees and things you can’t do.

In other words, before parting with your hard earned money, do your research. You won’t be able to get a refund once you’ve given your downpayment to reserve the slot.

D. After you’ve booked your ceremony venue, you can go on a hunt for your reception venue.

Consider proximity to your ceremony area, parking, and your chance to have control over choosing your suppliers. Some reception venues have supplier restrictions and accreditation requirements.

E. Now that you have your venues, you can short list 3-5 suppliers per category, then locate the ones who best match your budget, taste, and personality.

“No commitment meetings” need not be done personally. One can also opt for online meetings to gauge how prospective suppliers deal with possible clients.

Focus first on those who can’t do more than one wedding a day.

Remember to research before booking, but take isolated negative feedback with a grain of salt.

Important note: A lot of well meaning friends and relatives will be as excited and will volunteer their services or the services of friends. Remember that more often than not, it’s still better to book your own suppliers and avoid relying on friendship or blood ties. Things can get problematic and you don’t want to feel awkward dealing with these friends and relatives in other parties or gatherings after your wedding.

I think I’ve said a mouthful already and I may have caused you to feel overwhelmed. (I hope not…)

Tip: Simplify. Do things step by step to avoid feeling like you’re drowning in details. Start with the ones you really need then add the fancy details later.

And when you’re feeling too daunted, you can always rely on the sharing and words of wisdom of your w@w brothers and sisters, as well as the responses and recommendations of the suppliers you’ve booked.

 

 

Read more of Darlene Tan-Salazar’s Wedding Tip Sheet articles at www.weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-wedding-tip-sheet/.[/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_block_grid type=”two-up”][cs_block_grid_item title=”Block Grid Item 1″]darlene-tan[/cs_block_grid_item][cs_block_grid_item title=”Block Grid Item 2″]About Darlene Tan-Salazar, W@W Supplier of Year (2015): Darlene started out as a Planner/Coordinator of Perfect 10 Weddings. Since she needed more time for family matters, she opted to focus on emceeing, and has since started “The Wedding Tip Sheet“, a Facebook page that tackles the practical points of planning a wedding.[/cs_block_grid_item][/cs_block_grid][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][/cs_content]

Contract

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Contract – an agreement entered into by the couple and the supplier. It contains stipulations regarding the reservation of the date, requirements, crew meals, cancellation, and change of date among others. It also has the basic details of the wedding/event: names of the bride and groom, addresses, contact details, date, time and venue of ceremony, and time and venue of reception.

The Contract should stipulate all provisions and requirements that need to be agreed on by the supplier and the client so that they can have a shared understanding of all inclusions and exclusions of the product or services being booked.

Make Up

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Traditional make-up – refers to the application and blending of make-up using tools like brushes and sponges

Airbrush make-up – refers to the application of foundation using an air compressor that blows particles of the liquid make-up on to the face

Accessories

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Arrhae – refers to the coins that the groom ceremonially gives the bride; more often than not, there should be13 coins with the 13th symbolizing an extra month of bounty beyond the usual 12 months in a year

Cord – refers to the binder that is ceremonially placed over the head and on to the shoulders of the bride and groom during the wedding ceremony. It can be made of cloth, ribbon, chain links, and the like.

Ceremonial Veil – refers to the veil that will be pinned by the veil sponsors. It is rectangular in shape and big enough to cover the head of the bride and the backs of both the bride and groom.

Bible – the holy book; part of most catholic and protestant ceremonies is the passing on of the Bible from the officiant to the bride and groom

Note: Do purchase the Bible recommended by your religious denomination.

Wedding Candles or Matrimonial Candles – two long candles, usually size E24, which are lit by the secondary sponsors during a Catholic ceremony and before a Protestant ceremony.

Matches – two designed boxes of matches given to the candle sponsors so they can light the wedding candles (sometimes, lighters like gas stove lighters are used in place of matches)

Kinds of Bouquet

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Bouquet – bunch of flowers, tastefully arranged and carried by the bride down the aisle

  • Hand-tied bouquet – a combination of flowers and foliage tied together to create a bouquet
  • Posy or mini bouquet – a smaller version of the hand-tied bouquet
  • Cascade bouquet – from the handle flows the rest of the flowers going downwards, cascading in front of the gown

Others: 

  • Boutonniere – a small flower or handmade item attached to the lapel of a suit
  • Corsage – an arrangement of flowers fastened via pins to the chest area of a dress or tied around the wrist of a lady

Gown

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Silhouette – refers to the basic shape of the gown.

A-line – the cut starts below the chest and makes the dress look like a capital letter A.

Mermaid – the dress fits closely to the body until the knees where it fans out

Trumpet – the dress fits closely to the body until the thighs where it fans out

Ball gown – the most princess-type dress silhouette, has a waist, and balloons out from there

Sheath – a straight type of dress; it hugs the body but has no waistline

Fabric – the cloth used to make the wedding gown

  • Chiffon – transparent cloth that’s delicate and see-through, light and flow
  • Organza – similar to chiffon but stiffer in texture
  • Tulle – looks like net
  • Satin – cloth that’s shiny on one side
  • Charmeuse – lighter, softer, and a bit less shiny than satin
  • Mikado – usually heavier than 100% silk
  • Taffeta – crisp and smooth and holds its shape well
  • Shantung – similar to taffeta but not as finely woven
  • Georgette – lightweight fabric but is not as sheer as chiffon
  • Jersey – stretchy fabric with a matte finish

Neckline – refers to the cut of the top part of the gown

  • Sweetheart – curves over the chest area to form the bottom of a heart on the cleavage
  • V-neck – resembles a V; thus, it dips down to the cleavage
  • One-shoulder – has only one strap
  • Sheer – has a sheer piece of cloth on top of the dress’ neckline
  • Off the shoulder – the straps are not on top of the shoulders, rather around the arms
  • Halter – has straps that merge behind the back of the neck
  • Strapless/tube top – a straight, horizontal line runs across the chest area
  • High neck – covered from the neck, downwards

Hemline/Dress Length

  • Knee length – situated right on the knee
  • Above the knee – situated an inch or so above the knee
  • Tea length – midway between the knees and the ankles
  • Ankle length – right on the level of the ankles
  • Floor length – touches the floor

Train – refers to the part of the cloth that trails behind the bride while she is marching — some are detachable, while others aren’t

Bridal Veil – the sheer cloth that goes over the head of the bride and usually covers her face all throughout the march. Most common veils are the following:

  • Cathedral Veil – a long piece of sheer cloth that covers the head and stretches to cover the back of the dress and a few more meters beyond the back hem of the dress. Usually, it is pinned in such a way that the front hem goes over the bouquet.
  • Bird cage veil – a small piece of sheer cloth that covers mostly the forehead or the eyes of the bride, never the whole face
  • Mantilla – a veil that frames the face and does not cover it; it has embroidery on the sides and stretches behind the bride, more often than not, till the back of the waist

Rings

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Engagement Ring – ring given by a man to a woman whom he would like to marry

Diamond Shapes

  1. Princess cut – cut like a square
  2. Emerald cut – like a rectangle with rounded corners
  3. Marquise – cut like a oblong but with a pointy top and bottom
  4. Heart – shaped like a heart
  5. Oval – shaped like an egg
  6. Pear – shaped like a tear drop
  7. Round – circle cut

Wedding rings – bands worn by both the bride and groom during the ceremony

  1. Gold – the more pure it is, the more malleable; thus, for wedding rings, it is good to consider 14K or 18K gold since it has already been mixed with copper and zinc and will most likely stand the test of time without getting deformed
  2. White gold – gold is combined with zinc, nickel, platinum and silver to come up with the finish that is similar to silver
  3. Rose gold – gold is combined with copper to create the rosy color
  4. Silver – fine silver is not durable because like pure gold, it is malleable, that is why it is usually mixed with other metals to produce sterling silver which can be used for making wedding rings
  5. Platinum – extremely rare and more precious than gold, it looks like silver but is actually a different type of metal; since it’s a heavier metal, it can withstand the abuse a wearer will most likely give it during his/her lifetime
  6. Titanium – has a silver-white color and is the hardest natural metal in the world yet is light and is hypoallergenic
  7. Tungsten – steel gray metal used by gun manufacturers, resistant to scratching, and is hypoallergenic

Groom Outfit 101

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Barong – embroidered formal attire for men, usually the base is pina or jusi cloth; thus, an undershirt is needed

Suit – formal attire for men basically made up of a jacket and trousers of the same cloth/material; requires an inner long-sleeved shirt and a tie.

Suspenders – worn to keep the pants in place (given that there are no belt slots)

    Vest – worn on top of the long sleeved undershirt and under the suit jacket. This  makes the suit ensemble more formal and is     always worn with a necktie.

Tuxedo – basically looks like a suit but has a satin lining on the jacket lapel, the pocket, and the sides of the pants/trousers. It is usually paired with a bowtie.

Suit barong – a combination between a suit and a barong, a suit, because it is thicker than the usual barong, and a barong, because it has embroidery

Hairstyle 101 + Hairpieces

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Tiara – refers to a metallic hair piece that resembles a crown

Vine – a hair ornament that resembles an actual vine, a wiry stem with metallic leaves.

Brooch – an ornament made of metal and semi-precious stones or crystals. It can be pinned on to a dress or it can be used as a hair piece.

Entertainment 101

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Full Band – refers to a complete set of instruments plus a vocalist or two — drums, bass guitar, electric guitar, keyboards, etc. They can generally play any song including those for party and dancing time.

Acoustic Band – refers to those with no drums, generally, a percussionist takes the place of the drums. Other instruments generally do not need the use of electricity as well, i.e. an acoustic guitar as opposed to an electric guitar.

Choir – refers to groups with several vocalists who specialize in blending their voices, usually they have a keyboardist or a guitarist with them, although some groups also sing acapella (without instrumentalists)

String ensembles – refers to groups with string instruments (may include a violin, a cello, a viola, a double bass), a keyboard, and a vocalist or two.

Entourage 101

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Entourage – composed of people who will stand as principal sponsors, secondary sponsors, bridesmaids, groomsmen, best men, and maidens or matrons of honor

Principal sponsors – men and women who serve as the witnesses to the marriage contract, and who are deemed fit to guide the bride and groom in their journey as a married couple

Secondary sponsors – 3 pairs of men and women who are assigned 3 different roles:

first, to light the candles, one on each side of the couple;

second, to pin the veil over the head of the bride and on the shoulder area of the groom, and

third, to put the cord over the heads and on the shoulders of the bride and groom.

The last two pairs will be asked to remove the veil and cord within the ceremony, before the final blessing of the priest, if it’s a Catholic ceremony. There is also a removal of the veil and cord during a Christian ceremony.

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen – parties assigned to assist the bride and groom in various pre-wedding and wedding tasks

Best Man and Maid of Honor – they are deemed closest to the bride and groom; often, they are requested to handle the signing of the marriage contract (approaching each of the principal sponsors and helping them locate their names prior to signing). They are also requested to give speeches and in the case of the best man, to lead the toast during the reception program. If married, the title is “matron of honor” and not “maid of honor”.

Styling

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Styling – refers to the process of having your area designed according to a certain theme or a certain palette of colours — it includes florals, props, linen, and the like.

Full styling – often includes everything in the reception area, from the registration to the couples area and all the tables inside the reception pavilion.

Pocket styling:

Registration area – refers to the design of the table or the area close to it with props and florals to showcase the theme and tell people where they are seated.

Photo backdrop/nook – refers to the area where guests can have their photos taken at the event — often, a Photo Booth, roving Photo man or an Instagram booth supplier is hired to take and print the photos taken here. That way, guests go home with a souvenir from the couple.

If a Photo Booth supplier is hired, the client tells the Photo Booth not to bring their usual tarpaulin backdrop anymore, instead, they will be situated right in front of the photo nook.

A photoman could be stationed there before he is asked to go around and take photos of the guests inside the reception hall.

An instagram booth would not have its own photographer but will definitely print all photos with the hashtag of the event.

Couple’s area and backdrop – refers to the platform assigned to the couple. A stylist usually brings a backdrop or back wall for the couple along with a couch, a little table, and other elements that would communicate the given theme.

VIP Table styling – includes florals and elements/props on the VIP table

Guest Table styling – includes florals and other elements/props situated on the guest tables

Memory lane – includes photos of the couple either from their prenup or their years together. This area is designed according to the theme and color palette of the couple.

Pre-nup Styling – refers to the design of the pre-nup according to a theme or story board. Some stylists have questionnaires for couples in order for them to create the most suitable story board, suggest theme-related props and clothes, etc. Full pre-nup styling often includes make-up, retouch, clothes, accessories, props, and assistance on the day.

Parts of an Invitation

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Invitation – refers to the item given by the couple to inform prospective guests that they are being requested to attend the wedding of the said couple. The word “item” was used because invitations aren’t always in the form of enveloped cards, some are scrolls, printed on tumblers, printed on fans, printed as books, etc.

The parts of a wedding invitation are:

Main page – This page contains the names of the parents, the names of the bride and groom, the date, time, ceremony venue and address, and the reception venue and address.

Entourage page – This page contains the names of principal sponsors, secondary sponsors, bridesmaids, groomsmen, best man, maid of honor, bearers, and flower girls.

RSVP, Attire, and Gift Page – This page gives people RSVP information (name and number and/or email address of the one doing the tallying of responses), the deadline of sending responses, the attire requested for males and females, the notation regarding gifts (including registry information).

Map – This page gives guests a general guide as to how they can get to the ceremony and how they will move from the ceremony to the reception venue. It comes in the form of illustrations with street names and arrows. Sometimes, it is accompanied by a list of instructions regarding where to pass if one is coming from the south or the north.

Planners and Coordinators

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Planner – refers to the person who will assist the couple from conceptualizing the wedding, to the preparation and planning of the wedding.

Coordinator – refers to the person heading a team that will help you prepare for and execute all wedding plans

Usually the planner is also the wedding day coordinator who will execute all wedding plans

On-the-day Coordination – refers to the package that requires the lead coordinator to have around 2 to 3 meetings with the couple close to the date of the wedding. This package assumes that the couple will take care of all the bookings themselves and will just turn over details for execution.

Turnover Coordination – refers to the package that gives the lead coordinator the responsibility of helping the couple complete their roster of suppliers. It also accords more meetings and more assistance regarding details to be completed by the couple.

Full Coordination – refers to the package that involves the planner/coordinator right away — from planning the theme to booking the suppliers to the actual execution of plans leading up to and on the day of the wedding.

AVP 101

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AVP – refers to an audio visual presentation, includes but is not limited to the following:

  • Growing-up slideshow/photo montage – contains pictures of the bride and groom in various life stages (as a baby, a toddler, a student, a professional, with family, with friends). It usually ends with a segment showing pictures of the bride and groom throughout the years of their relationship.
  • Prenuptial slideshow – contains pictures taken during the prenuptial pictorial (if the instruction is to loop it, then sometimes, the audio is either muted or the editor/slideshow producer omits adding music to the slideshow before saving it)
  • Prenuptial video – contains footage taken during the prenuptial shoot — usually a love story AVP or an AVP that showcases the theme of the wedding (travel, movies, vintage, etc.)
  • Save the date video/teaser – a short clip showcasing what was done during the prenup, meant to entice guests to watch the full length video and attend the wedding of the bride and groom
  • Opening Billboard or OBB – also a short clip or a teaser which plays only for about 1 ½ It is played before the grand entrance of the couple within the reception programme. It may contain a bit of the growing up years or some prenup shots or both.
  • Onsite Edit or Same Day Edit (SDE) – an AVP showcasing highlights of what transpired from the preparations to the first part of the reception, often until the first dance of the bride and groom. It is usually as long as one whole song.
  • Full length video – an AVP that presents to the couple highlights of the preparations, the ceremony, and the whole reception. It is much longer than a same day edit. The usual turnaround time/delivery date is 6 months from the date of the wedding.