Proverbs 18:21 says \u201cDeath & Life are in the power of the tongue\u201d<\/em> which means, as the speaker, do not be in a rush to just say whatever you want. Specially in sensitive moments, choose your words well. In the movie \u201c300\u201d<\/em> King Leonidas warns the emissary of Xerxes to choose his next words lightly because it could be his last. The emissary didn’t heed the warning and resulted in his death. Similarly, words are easy to give but they have the power to encourage people or put them down. Whoever said\u00a0“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”<\/em> Was actually lying and should have said “but your words can <\/em>break my heart and spirit”.<\/em><\/p>\n B. Tone<\/strong><\/p>\n Sometimes it is not what you say, but how you say it. In one story in the bible, Jesus asked His apostles which was better \u2014 a man who says no and then does it or a person who said yes and then didn\u2019t do it. Naturally, the apostles replied \u201cThe one who <\/em>refused but in the end did it anyway\u201d<\/em>. Such is true for a person who may have a proper sentence constructed and yet adds a negative tone into it.<\/p>\n Warning: In these times where many of our communication are not verbal, such as text or emails, Tone is very hard to predict. That’s why I recommend for sensitive issues that you call instead of simply texting.<\/p>\n C. Body Language<\/strong><\/p>\n You may have the right words and a nice tone but if you include some roll eyes with it, it will be received negatively. You can say \u201cYes, dear\u201d<\/em> and say it in a very submissive way, but if you\u2019re not moving from that TV set or that couch, then expect a negative response.<\/p>\n D. Timing<\/strong><\/p>\n Last but not the least, timing is key\u2026 you can be ok with all the first 3 elements, but anything said at the wrong time is bound to fail. My wife, Monique, is pretty good at this, she knows when it’s not a good time to talk to me. When words would just get lost and she knows I have a tendency of really putting a sound proof wall around me. Also, when the person you are speaking to is too emotional or high strung, sometimes it’s good to wait it out before doing your explanation.<\/p>\n Keeping these in mind does not guarantee you will be always understood, there might be more elements as pointed out such as the receptivity of the person you are speaking to but keeping these in mind will dramatically improve connection.<\/p>\n
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