{"id":14648,"date":"2016-02-16T13:41:06","date_gmt":"2016-02-16T05:41:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/?p=14648"},"modified":"2016-02-19T11:56:09","modified_gmt":"2016-02-19T03:56:09","slug":"waw-column-before-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/waw-column-before-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"WaW Column: Before I do"},"content":{"rendered":"

[x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1\/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Editor’s note:<\/strong> Most often than not, couples are blindsided by the hard work that is required of them to make their marriages work. <\/p>\n

That\u2019s why we are very happy to introduce to you the WaW Before I do column by Jong and Monique Ong to help prepare couples for their lives together after their weddings. Yes, happily-ever-afters are possible. Read on!
\n<\/em>[\/x_text][\/x_column][\/x_row][\/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1\/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]John:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hi, I am John Mateos Ong, a wedding photographer, scuba diver instructor, blogger, song writer, a pastor, a husband and father to 5 wonderful children. <\/p>\n

Because of what i’ve been through in life, I realize that there much about what’s important in life is not actually taught in school nor anywhere else. <\/p>\n

So I’ve been given a burden to help couples jumpstart their marriage. I noticed that almost all couples become so excited and so busy preparing for the wedding day that they miss out on investing in the marriage itself. <\/p>\n

This has been my calling to share principles of marriage from the Designer<\/em> of marriage found in the Bible. <\/p>\n

So we came up with the \u201cBefore I do workshop\u201d. Currently on our 20th run, going on our 9th year. This workshop allows couples to engage, discover and create a blueprint for their marriage. <\/p>\n

I personally can attest that marriage within God\u2019s design is an amazing journey. [\/x_text][\/x_column][\/x_row][\/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1\/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Monique:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hi, my name is Monique Ong. I am a wedding host, an event director, blogger, John\u2019s ultimate cheerleader \u2013 wife and a homeschooling mom . <\/p>\n

It is my desire to empower women to be the best wife they can be to their husband. <\/p>\n

There is so much to learn from home management, communication, in-laws, submission and more. <\/p>\n

Marriage is hard work. But if you work hard on your marriage, I can guarantee you can reap the best of what marriage has to offer. <\/p>\n

We are so excited to impart to you what we know about marriage. So when Benz gave us the opportunity to have a column here in W@W, we consider this a real honor and privilege. <\/p>\n

As an alumnae W@Wie , I can attest that this site has the richest resource when it comes to weddings. Beyond the suppliers, what I I love the most about W@W is the friendships made because of this community. <\/p>\n

As W@W has evolved through the years, it so exciting because it now also gives soon-to-be weds a sneak preview of the bliss, blunders and blessings of marriage.<\/p>\n

So welcome to our Before I do <\/em>corner. Here we can discuss anything and everything about marriage. <\/p>\n

So throw in some questions such as marriage preps and real life marriage issues and we will be happy to respond back. <\/strong><\/p>\n

We hope this can be a start of a great friendship![\/x_text][\/x_column][\/x_row][\/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1\/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_image type=”none” src=”http:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/weddings61.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][\/x_column][\/x_row][\/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1\/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Transitioning from ME to WE<\/strong><\/p>\n

AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. \u2013 Mark 10:8<\/strong><\/p>\n

There is something special about marriage because it puts two very different and unique people together and God makes them one unit. <\/p>\n

The transition to becoming one though does not come natural. That is why while you are engage to be married, we encourage couples to start practicing becoming one.<\/p>\n

There will be several adjustments that will be required from each one to achieve this. But mastering it, will give you the best of marriage.<\/p>\n

ALIGN YOUR SCHEDULE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I never realized that this would be such an issue. But once married, you will need to learn to make sure that your schedules are in synced.<\/p>\n

Making plans for the day or for the week requires always thinking about your spouse as part of your daily grind. <\/p>\n

The first few conflicts we had as a married couple was getting the rhythm of our schedule. John will set meetings assuming I am aware of it. I on the other hand, would also book activities with other people on that same time and day. <\/p>\n

The tension begins when we discover that we have overlapping appointments at opposite sides of the metro \u2013 of course it becomes a hassle. <\/p>\n

One time, John surprised me with an out of the country trip only to realize after booking the flight that I had a hosting event in the Philippines on one of the dates that we were out. <\/p>\n

Since we wanted to honor that booking, I ended up flying back earlier instead of spending 2 more days with John. <\/p>\n

Today, we have aligned our schedule through a merged calendar app. I have learned to ask before making any commitment. It has allowed us to operate as one.<\/p>\n

ALIGN YOUR PRIORITIES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Next to God, your number one priority is your spouse. <\/p>\n

There will be major adjustments when it comes to your friends, past time activities, work and hobbies. <\/p>\n

Sometimes we think we can still do our usual routines of playing 2-3x a week basketball or having regular happy hour cocktails or weekend gimmicks. This can be a cause of stress for your marriage especially if it will mean that your spouse is not part of those activities. <\/p>\n

Many wives have complained and cried over how their husbands can be insensitive to how they spend their time with other things rather than spending time with them. <\/p>\n

That is why weekly dates are necessary to help strengthen your marriage. <\/p>\n

Also sometimes, some activities might have to be dropped because its not giving you a healthy marriage. <\/p>\n

Being able to know your priorities and owning up to it, helps make you one flesh.<\/p>\n

ALIGN YOUR FAMILY IDENTITY<\/strong><\/p>\n

You will now be known as Mr. AND Mrs. Married Couple. <\/p>\n

Entering the marriage, you and your spouse must be able to answer these questions: What is our family vision statement? What is our family values? What will I contribute in the marriage to make it exciting? What is our family goals for the first year? What role will I play in this marriage? What irks my spouse and what encourages my spouse? <\/p>\n

Being able to respond to these questions helps you build your identity as married couple. This gives your marriage direction and allows you to have your own special identity.[\/x_text][\/x_column][\/x_row][\/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1\/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Images by John Mateos Ong.<\/em>[\/x_text][\/x_column][\/x_row][\/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1\/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_block_grid type=”two-up”][x_block_grid_item]\"John-Ong-Monique\"<\/a>[\/x_block_grid_item][x_block_grid_item]About John & Monique Ong: <\/strong>Husband and Wife John and Monique Ong are partners in every sense \u2013 from homeschooling their children, running their business Imagine Nation Photography Inc<\/a>, blogging, and in helping equip soon-to-wed couples and newlyweds for their lives together. <\/p>\n

<\/em>[\/x_block_grid_item][\/x_block_grid][\/x_column][\/x_row][\/x_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1\/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Editor’s note: Most often than not, couples are blindsided by the hard work that is required of them to make their marriages […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":14665,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,264],"tags":[267,265,266,268,271,269,270],"class_list":["post-14648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-waw-before-i-do","tag-before-i-do-workshop","tag-before-marriage","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-counseling","tag-marriage-how-tos","tag-marriage-issues","tag-marriage-wisdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14648"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14648"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14648\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14665"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weddingsatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}