WaW Column: Before I do

[x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Editor’s note: Most often than not, couples are blindsided by the hard work that is required of them to make their marriages work.

That’s why we are very happy to introduce to you the WaW Before I do column by Jong and Monique Ong to help prepare couples for their lives together after their weddings. Yes, happily-ever-afters are possible. Read on!
[/x_text][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]John:

Hi, I am John Mateos Ong, a wedding photographer, scuba diver instructor, blogger, song writer, a pastor, a husband and father to 5 wonderful children.

Because of what i’ve been through in life, I realize that there much about what’s important in life is not actually taught in school nor anywhere else.

So I’ve been given a burden to help couples jumpstart their marriage. I noticed that almost all couples become so excited and so busy preparing for the wedding day that they miss out on investing in the marriage itself.

This has been my calling to share principles of marriage from the Designer of marriage found in the Bible.

So we came up with the “Before I do workshop”. Currently on our 20th run, going on our 9th year. This workshop allows couples to engage, discover and create a blueprint for their marriage.

I personally can attest that marriage within God’s design is an amazing journey. [/x_text][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Monique:

Hi, my name is Monique Ong. I am a wedding host, an event director, blogger, John’s ultimate cheerleader – wife and a homeschooling mom .

It is my desire to empower women to be the best wife they can be to their husband.

There is so much to learn from home management, communication, in-laws, submission and more.

Marriage is hard work. But if you work hard on your marriage, I can guarantee you can reap the best of what marriage has to offer.

We are so excited to impart to you what we know about marriage. So when Benz gave us the opportunity to have a column here in W@W, we consider this a real honor and privilege.

As an alumnae W@Wie , I can attest that this site has the richest resource when it comes to weddings. Beyond the suppliers, what I I love the most about W@W is the friendships made because of this community.

As W@W has evolved through the years, it so exciting because it now also gives soon-to-be weds a sneak preview of the bliss, blunders and blessings of marriage.

So welcome to our Before I do corner. Here we can discuss anything and everything about marriage.

So throw in some questions such as marriage preps and real life marriage issues and we will be happy to respond back.

We hope this can be a start of a great friendship![/x_text][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_image type=”none” src=”http://weddingsatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/weddings61.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Transitioning from ME to WE

AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. – Mark 10:8

There is something special about marriage because it puts two very different and unique people together and God makes them one unit.

The transition to becoming one though does not come natural. That is why while you are engage to be married, we encourage couples to start practicing becoming one.

There will be several adjustments that will be required from each one to achieve this. But mastering it, will give you the best of marriage.

ALIGN YOUR SCHEDULE

I never realized that this would be such an issue. But once married, you will need to learn to make sure that your schedules are in synced.

Making plans for the day or for the week requires always thinking about your spouse as part of your daily grind.

The first few conflicts we had as a married couple was getting the rhythm of our schedule. John will set meetings assuming I am aware of it. I on the other hand, would also book activities with other people on that same time and day.

The tension begins when we discover that we have overlapping appointments at opposite sides of the metro – of course it becomes a hassle.

One time, John surprised me with an out of the country trip only to realize after booking the flight that I had a hosting event in the Philippines on one of the dates that we were out.

Since we wanted to honor that booking, I ended up flying back earlier instead of spending 2 more days with John.

Today, we have aligned our schedule through a merged calendar app. I have learned to ask before making any commitment. It has allowed us to operate as one.

ALIGN YOUR PRIORITIES

Next to God, your number one priority is your spouse.

There will be major adjustments when it comes to your friends, past time activities, work and hobbies.

Sometimes we think we can still do our usual routines of playing 2-3x a week basketball or having regular happy hour cocktails or weekend gimmicks. This can be a cause of stress for your marriage especially if it will mean that your spouse is not part of those activities.

Many wives have complained and cried over how their husbands can be insensitive to how they spend their time with other things rather than spending time with them.

That is why weekly dates are necessary to help strengthen your marriage.

Also sometimes, some activities might have to be dropped because its not giving you a healthy marriage.

Being able to know your priorities and owning up to it, helps make you one flesh.

ALIGN YOUR FAMILY IDENTITY

You will now be known as Mr. AND Mrs. Married Couple.

Entering the marriage, you and your spouse must be able to answer these questions: What is our family vision statement? What is our family values? What will I contribute in the marriage to make it exciting? What is our family goals for the first year? What role will I play in this marriage? What irks my spouse and what encourages my spouse?

Being able to respond to these questions helps you build your identity as married couple. This gives your marriage direction and allows you to have your own special identity.[/x_text][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Images by John Mateos Ong.[/x_text][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_block_grid type=”two-up”][x_block_grid_item][/x_block_grid_item][x_block_grid_item]About John & Monique Ong: Husband and Wife John and Monique Ong are partners in every sense – from homeschooling their children, running their business Imagine Nation Photography Inc, blogging, and in helping equip soon-to-wed couples and newlyweds for their lives together.

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