[x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]Monique:

Before I was married, I was an accomplished career woman. As an accounts manager for an advertising firm, I brought in millions to the company and everyone was telling me I that was walking on the ladder of success.

I eventually started my own business. With the leadership skills and talent God has given me, I was able to reach even higher heights in my career.

And then came marriage.

I know many wives struggle with power, leadership and control that it hurts the marriage at its early stages. If you are a career oriented woman like me, I would like to impart to you how to transition from being your Bossy self to being the best helpmate to your new Boss – your servant leader, husband.

“For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything” Ephesians 5:22-33.

First understand that God designed couples to have very important roles to play in the marriage. If we don’t follow the design – there are bound to be heartaches. If you’re a goal oriented and success-driven wife – you would want to win in this marriage![/x_text][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_image type=”none” src=”https://weddingsatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/chart-submission.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]In this chart, you can see that our husbands carry such a big responsibility to run this marriage. This is the reason why as wives, we need to be good team players alongside our husbands.

How do we become a great team? It starts by being good helpmates. We must learn to submit to their leading.

Submission sounds like a really bad word! In fact, I know many women dread it. But let me tell you this: It’s a military word that means to fall in line. In other words – we become a great team when we let our husband lead the family and we become their best support system to make it happen.

When we submit – we allow our husband to take care of us and we allow them to make big dreams for our family. When there is a submissive wife, a husband is more than willing to go the extra mile to serve and love his wife. Why? Because he knows you have his back and best interest in mind, and if he clearly knows that, he wants to do the same for you.

So if you ask me, I love to submit to my husband. I am blessed when I do submit. It makes my life less complicated and it takes away the stress of fighting about petty things.

If there are times that we have a discussion on a certain issue, I have to always remind myself, my husband is not my ENEMY. He always has good intentions for me.
I also thank God that my husband hears my thoughts and opinion. If his decision does not sit well with me, I ask God to interfere and give both of us wisdom.

I pray for 2 things: God change the heart of my husband if I am right or change my heart to accept that he is right and that he wants to protect me from wrong motives.
[/x_text][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_text]John:

If there is an issue that raises the wives’ eyebrows, it would have to be on the topic of submission. It’s a command in the Bible that even Christian couples find hard to obey. Either they raise questions and exceptions such as: What if he’s not a believer? What if he’s wrong? What if he’s not responsible? Up to what extent do I submit?

Or totally regard this verse as “not applicable” or “obsolete” and that maybe it was just applicable then.

Here are some pointers that you could remember to make submission easier:

1. Submission is for order & harmony, not to rule or step over. When a wife submits to you, it means she trust her life in your leading. Submission does not mean your wife becomes your personal maid. If you are a servant leader, you must model first how to serve. Serve your wife as you would want to be served.

2. Yes wives are to submit, but there is also a command for husbands and that is to love our wives. How much? As much as Jesus loved his church! Many husbands forget to nurture their wife. Some of the wives look way older than they are because their husband won’t even give them budget for a salon break or even shopping money to look good. Some husbands are guilty of not dating their wives and therefore losing romance in the marriage. If you love your wife, give her a voice. Listen to her. She might just have insights that can help you lead your family better.

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself” Ephesians 5: 25-28.

Some of you may ask, what if your husband is dumb? Or wrong? My answer is “SO?” Still submit.
There is a third point here that we need to realize.

3. Husbands are accountable to God, meaning your husband may be right or he may be wrong, but in the end, he will be answering to God for all his mistakes and wrong decisions. That is why the weight is still with the husband.

As I end my portion, may I just give a little request to the husbands? I know the command is clear for our wives to submit to us, but please make it easy for them to. Make ourselves worth submitting to by being not only loving but also being responsible. Remember, whether or not our marriage succeeds or fail, we are accountable and responsible for this marriage. I hope that we will really do all we can to make it work.
[/x_text][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_image type=”none” src=”https://weddingsatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/before-i-do-jpeg.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section][x_section style=”margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 45px 0px 45px 0px; “][x_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” bg_color=”” style=”margin: 0px auto 0px auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_column bg_color=”” type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; “][x_block_grid type=”two-up”][x_block_grid_item][/x_block_grid_item][x_block_grid_item]About John & Monique Ong: Husband and Wife John and Monique Ong are partners in every sense – from homeschooling their children, running their business Imagine Nation Photography Inc, blogging, and in helping equip soon-to-wed couples and newlyweds for their lives together.[/x_block_grid_item][/x_block_grid][/x_column][/x_row][/x_section]