[cs_content][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text]We’ve organized the “Before & After I do” www.beforeidoworkshop.com 21x the past decade. Recently, I’ve been thinking, for couples who attend who are not fully surrendered to Jesus and for whatever reason do not read the Bible (either busy or they don’t believe in it) and perhaps some may even be there happy to pick-up a nugget of gold or two (selective in what they are to accept), what probably is the topic that they most find not clear or hard to swallow.

Aside from the wife submitting to the husband, I guess it would be this diagram.[/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][x_image type=”none” src=”http://weddingsatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/BecomingCloser2.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text]What this says is, that if you want to be closer to each other, the only way to do this is to get close to God. Do you get the point? A non-debating Christian would probably agree, a normal Christian would probably ask some questions and a cynical person would ask the following questions:

a. Why does it have to be a triangle?
b. Why does the sides have to be equal all the time?
c. Why can’t we move closer to each other without God?

If you look at it at a normal person’s stand point, the questions do make sense and so in this article, I would like to give clarity to it and stress out why I believe this principle is correct. The main point in layman’s term is this: “You may try to get to know each other better and love each other more — but unless God is in the equation. You are bound for failure!”[/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][x_image type=”none” src=”http://weddingsatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/BecomingCloser1.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text]So now lets ask Why?

Point #1 – You are two entire different people – Yes you may have same interest, you may even say you’re beginning to look alike but the fact remains the same – through spirits your might have been joint together as one but physically you are different! You won’t always have the same feelings, you won’t always agree on everything, different moods and you will even go through different problems… When these differences get to you – you will see that some are manageable but sometimes there are issues that rock the boat. What do you do when you get to an issue where no one else gives in or what you call a dead lock? One has to give way and surrender his/her point even when they think they’re right?

When you feel your differences and you can’t see eye to eye. The fear of God will make you not give up no matter what.

Point #2 – Life is not perfect – Lets say you’ve hurdled point #1 without God. Great! You guys always agree 99% and you’ve decided the 1% is negligible. This doesn’t mean however you can escape the stress of life. Business go bankrupt, people get sick, annoying people surround you, you get scammed, you get tempted, for sure someone dear to you will die— but what do you do when when challenges have become more than you can bear?

When they become too big – trust and faith in God will keep you sane and strong. He will be your peace through the storm.

Point #3 – Because we don’t know love – Love has many levels… You tell our wife “I love you” and later on say “I love my dog”. Do you love them equally? Of course not! Another example: Monday you tell her I love you and Friday you again tell her you love her but there is a possibility you love her more on Monday than friday depending on your mood that day. Why is this so? Because the love we know is different from biblical love… Here is how Jesus describes this love:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25

How much did Jesus love the church? So much He died for it. He loved it more than he loved himself. Jesus also loved the church regardless if it could love Him back. When Jesus decided to die for us, we were not worthy and in fact we were sinners, but Jesus died for us because He loved us.

This my friend, is how we are to love our spouses. Jesus set an example that we are to follow. Not dependent on our mood, or what our spouse does, but our commitment to love is unconditional. Now how can someone who don’t know the Lord know this? Where else can we see this kind of love being given out?

So here in my 3 points are my reasons, as to why we say and hold firm to the principle that in Marriage, in order to be close to each other, we need to get close to God.

Read more of John and Monique Ong’s Before I Do articles at www.weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-before-i-do/.[/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_block_grid type=”two-up”][cs_block_grid_item title=”Block Grid Item 1″][/cs_block_grid_item][cs_block_grid_item title=”Block Grid Item 2″]About John & Monique Ong: 

Husband and Wife John and Monique Ong are partners in every sense – from homeschooling their children, running their business Imagine Nation Photography Inc, blogging, and in helping equip soon-to-wed couples and newlyweds for their lives together.[/cs_block_grid_item][/cs_block_grid][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][/cs_content]

[cs_content][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text]Do you know that it is only in the Philippines where we have godparents as part of our wedding entourage?  In several cross cultural weddings, foreigners would find it very unique for Filipinos to have “Principal Sponsors”.  We believe “godparents” are handpicked to help couples be guided through married life. We have seen godparents of the bride and groom from their baptism or dedication become the same godparents in the next phase of their life. There are those that have impacted the couple the most in their career or relationship that they find it significant for them to be part of their sponsors list. In many Filipino weddings they invite very respectable and honorable VIPs to be part of the married couple’s life.

The concept of having godparents is an ideal picture for any married couple starting up their family. Interestingly though, 90% of the time godparents never really play an active role in the marriage of the couple. That is why treading into married life can be very lonely at times.  I say lonely because you have no one to confide to when issues creep in. No one is cheering you on or is giving you a check and balance if you are doing okay as a married couple.  John and I have found the secret to surviving and enjoying married life more.  We have decided to join the marriage club![/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][x_image type=”none” src=”http://weddingsatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/TheMarriageClub2.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text]Okay so we put a fancy name to it. What we really call this marriage club is “Couple’s Accountability Group”. How did we find them? It was divinely orchestrated. John and I are major believers in enriching and nourishing our marriage. So we push ourselves to go and join couple gatherings like “SATURDATES” or joining the Before I do Workshop. We also get into a yearly couples retreat. We do this not because we are problematic. We already try to solve it before it ever becomes a problem. In these special venues, God has given us marriage mentors and couples to walk with in our married life. We do not meet to brag about our perfections. We meet because we know we are very broken and we need people to help us see our blind spots. They are our prayer partners for all our dreams and struggles as a couple. We learn from each other’s mistakes and our goal is really to be better husband and wife.[/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][x_image type=”none” src=”http://weddingsatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/TheMarriageClub1.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text]What happens in a couple’s accountability?

Couples accountability usually becomes a group date. You can go out for dinner in a nice restaurant or you can pot luck in one of the couple’s home.  The goal of the group is to always make the marriage like a well-oiled machine. This is not a gossip gathering. It’s a time for honesty, learning, growth and maturity. We begin by rating our marriage from 1-10. One meaning  we are completely a wreck this week to 10 – we are really enjoying the fullness of marriage.  This rating gives us a picture of the temperature of each other’s marriages.

We ask questions.  We ask hard questions.

1. What were the issues that arose this week? Did you resolve it? If not how do you plan to resolve it?
2. What is God teaching you this week?
3. What sin are you struggling on?
4. How can you improve as a spouse this week?
5. What is your prayer request?

Then we dig into God’s word and truth on marriage and be strengthened and encouraged by it.[/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][x_image type=”none” src=”http://weddingsatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/TheMarriageClub3.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text]We don’t expect that everything gets fixed in one meeting. We understand that change is a process but being able to air it out, share it and listen to godly advice is a big start to a having the marriage you have always wanted.

I highly recommend every couple to be part of a couple’s accountability group.  It has saved so many marriages. It has enriched our marriage.  Our children are growing side by side theirs. It’s really what we call growing together and walking life on life.  We don’t just meet to air our grievances. We meet to make our life more meaningful.  We travel together and we have made the best memories as families.

Want to find your very own couples accountability group?  You can join us on June 25, 2016 at A. Venue Makati. Check out ido.com.ph.

 [/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][x_image type=”none” src=”http://weddingsatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/TheMarriageClub4.jpg” alt=”” link=”false” href=”#” title=”” target=”” info=”none” info_place=”top” info_trigger=”hover” info_content=””][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_text] 

Read more of John & Monique Ong’s Before I Do articles at weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-before-i-do/.[/cs_text][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][cs_section parallax=”false” style=”margin: 0px;padding: 45px 0px;”][cs_row inner_container=”true” marginless_columns=”false” style=”margin: 0px auto;padding: 0px;”][cs_column fade=”false” fade_animation=”in” fade_animation_offset=”45px” fade_duration=”750″ type=”1/1″ style=”padding: 0px;”][cs_block_grid type=”two-up”][cs_block_grid_item title=”Block Grid Item 1″]About John & Monique Ong: Husband and Wife John and Monique Ong are partners in every sense – from homeschooling their children, running their business Imagine Nation Photography Inc, blogging, and in helping equip soon-to-wed couples and newlyweds for their lives together.[/cs_block_grid_item][cs_block_grid_item title=”Block Grid Item 2″][/cs_block_grid_item][/cs_block_grid][/cs_column][/cs_row][/cs_section][/cs_content]