Weddings N Beyond is partnering with WaW for their grandest midyear wedding and debut expo!

This is happening on April 23 and 24 at The Megatrade Hall, SM Megamall.

Meet over 150 suppliers and enjoy exclusive deals! 

Register here for free admission: https://weddingsnbeyond.com/register/

We are partnering with Kasalang Tagaytay Expo for their April 23-24 Bridal fair, at the Twin Lakes Hotel Grand Ballroom.

We prioritize everyone’s safety so we moved to a better venue that is not part of the high-risk barangays mentioned by PHILVOLCS-DOST.

See you there!

I am not here to discourage you from getting married. No, not at all. Although the title of my talk today sounds as negative as it could possibly get for a marriage counselling workshop, it is furthest from the truth. My objective in being with you guys who are about to “tie the knot” is to give you direct hand experiences of things that happened to me while I was married that led to its ultimate downfall, and in learning these mistakes I made, can help you avoid them.

Almost 10 years now after my ex-wife and I filed for divorce, I realized what a major son-of-a-bitch husband I was. Many of my closest friends will argue that my ex is partially to blame for our failed marriage but if I were to be fair in terms of the percentage in which I was the problem or cause of the problem, it’s probably 80% me and 20% her. I take on the 80% that was the reason why our marriage failed.

I have to apologize in advance if a lot of what I say will apply mainly to the guys in the group. I was the husband after all. But, ladies, please listen or read between the lines and know what signs to look out for from your man before you get married. If there’s anything that’s not clear, it’s best to clarify early before it’s too late. Do not assume that in getting married, unresolved issues while you are engaged will magically fix themselves. It doesn’t work that way and chances are, if you don’t address a problem now, it will become bigger or probably even become unsolvable when you’re already married because there’s no more getting out.

Most of my actions when I was married did not quite reflect that of a married man. I flirted a lot, even in front of or when I was with my ex. And I even thought it was funny and that she shouldn’t mind at all because it was just “harmless” fun. Or so I thought. I also spent countless hours playing this online video game that basically made my ex a “gamer’s widow” in today’s technology jargon. I remember distinctly when my ex said a few years after we separated, “it would have been better if you had another woman because at least I can compete. But with a video game there was no way I could win.” That’s how bad my gaming addiction was.

She was very ambitious woman. Early in life she already knew what she wanted and had a clear vision of the future. And she took the necessary steps to get where she wanted to be. I, on the other hand, was this seemingly lost “go-with-the-flow” type of person who just couldn’t sync properly with my ex wife’s plans and ambitions for our future. I always told her that I didn’t know what I want and didn’t know when I will find out what my calling was. I kept her waiting and waiting and waiting until I ran out of time. She quietly divorced me in her heart a year before we separated hoping that when the time comes we will split-up it will not be that difficult for her.

I have summarized the top 6 things you guys need to CHECK before you exchange your vows:

1. You must have similar or common goals
It is difficult to imagine a future if your spouse has a totally different future from the one you’re currently imagining. That’s why it’s very important that before you exchange vows, both of you are already aware of how both of you see each other including your future children 5 years, 10 years, 15 years beyond down the road. If the husband is imagining a simple life in a small little hut in the province while the wife is imagining a huge loft in the city, that’s a very big problem. You need to be clear where both of you are going to be at and wherever or whatever that place is is something you’re going to both be in together, not apart, unless that’s part of your plan.

2. You must be ALL IN with no plans of BACKING OUT
Of all the things I’ll be talking about today this is probably going to be the most important, so listen well. If at this point and time that you’re about to get married either one or both of you are still thinking that it’s okay to be without each other, that’s a huge wake up call. Right now both of you need to be at the same place of, “My life is not going to be the same without you and it will really really suck living without or apart from you.” If there’s even the slightest feeling of “I’ll be okay without you” then call the wedding off.

3. You must communicate daily
The most successful marriages I personally know of, the couple talks to each other daily. This can range from small talk to deep talk and they make it a point to address any issue that concerns the marriage. They deal with problems head on and always come up with a resolution. There is tremendous positive power when couples spend quality time to talk about what transpired in the day, and most especially deal with issues that can cause bigger problems in the long run. Sit down and talk or spend a few minutes talking about stuff that went on in the day before going to sleep at night. (If my Bible knowledge is still intact, there’s a passage that says do not sleep while there is anger in your heart or something like that).

4. You must be 100% transparent with the truth
If you cannot be 100% transparent with the truth I can almost guarantee that your marriage will have a hard time lasting through the years. It is only in 100% transparency that your marriage can grow and flourish. If you hide stuff from your spouse then there will always be that part of you that will suffer. Remember that one of the main reasons why you’re getting married is because you can be sure that your spouse will love you 100% for who and what you are right now and what you can become. Hiding things, lying or being unable to tell the whole truth is like a heavy weight that’s going to drag both of you down and can ultimately cost the marriage. And how can you trust each other if you cannot be 100% transparent?

5. You may have varying views on certain things but your core values must be the same
There’s a vast difference of the common saying, “Opposites attract” vs “Opposite values.” You and your spouse can be worlds apart when it comes to certain things like what your favorite breakfast is or how you take coffee, or even movie choices. But in terms of core values you should be at least 99% the same. It will be a huge problem if you think abortion is freedom of choice when your spouse think it’s murder regardless of reason. Your core values are the anchors that will keep your marriage intact when tough times fall on your marriage, and trust me, there will be more tough times than not. If you are not aligned with the most fundamental of things then you might really want to either change for the sake of the marriage or give up the idea of marriage altogether. If you have opposite values you’re going to be in for a very rocky marriage that will most likely fail in the long run.

6. Your “WEs” should always have more weight than your “Is”
This is quite self explanatory but let me expound. The point of marriage is that the two of you become one. You’re one team, one force, one decision, one choice. “Together” should become your adapted last name and “Everything” your adapted middle name. “Everything Together.” This is not to say that there will be times one of you need to make the call or make the choice but in those instances there should be mutual agreement of the decision. If not, go back to the drawing board and find out what needs to be agreed on before the decision is made. Couples who make it a habit of deciding alone and not confiding with each other will get in trouble in the long run. Why get married in the first place if your I is not replaced with We?

When my ex and I split up after an 8 year marriage both of us were devastated, emotionally, psychologically and even socially. I knew her 5 years prior so we were together for a total of 13 years. Losing someone you spent that much time with is as painful as it gets. But breaking up was the better option for us than trying to stay together. Marital break ups is one of the most traumatic experiences any one can go through even for those like me that weren’t ALL IN in the marriage in the first place. You are left with a big hole in your heart that’s broken into a million pieces. Neither of you want this. That’s why you need to be CRYSTAL CLEAR about your motivations for getting married. They have to be as deep as life itself because you will be spending your lives together. Your reasons for getting married have to be “break and time proof” and can stand any difficulty.

Sometimes I still wish that I knew then what I knew now. Things would have been different. And in all likelihood, if I had woken up from my childish slumber, I’d probably be still married. But live and let live. I’ve been given another chance to give my life to someone else and I know this time around it will be for keeps. And I hope your marriage will be for keeps, too.

—–

Raffy Gutierrez (a.k.a. Pambasang Taga Mulat) is a radical and colorful political, religious and spiritual blogger who has around 40,000 followers on Facebook. He is recently channeling all his pent up energy from many frustrations about the Philippines to participating in talks and workshops where he gets to challenge the status quo. He hopes to make a positive difference rather than cause more unnecessary noise in social media. A zealot and a true Filipino patriot at heart, he works as a product and sales trainer in a Filipino Appliances Conglomerate where he gets to share a lot of his highly charged ideas to the sales people in his company.

Congratulations! Your boyfriend proposed to you and now you are planning to tie down the knot in the next couple of months or so. As you go through the nitty gritty details of wedding planning, you might have contemplated on whether or not you are going to have an engagement photo shoot or what is commonly known as Prenup Photo Shoot. With all the planning and wedding expenses you are torn between having a prenup shoot or not.

CamZar Photography | www.camzarphoto.com

CamZar Photography | www.camzarphoto.com

CamZar Photography | www.camzarphoto.com

CamZar Photography | www.camzarphoto.com

On the day of their engagement shoot, she had help from her friends to set everything up. They styled the venue the night before the shoot, they pumped each and every balloon then suspended them from the ceiling just as how she plans it to look. They worked on the space for almost 2 hours.

CamZar Photography | www.camzarphoto.com

CamZar Photography | www.camzarphoto.com

Photos by CamZar Photography
HMUA by Joseph Madrid
Location at Astoria Ortigas

Reserve on or before June 30, 2018 and get early bird rate. For more event details, visit http://www.ramadamanila.com/to-do-before-and-after-the-i-do.

When I was younger, my favorite subject was math. In there I learned than it’s difficult to add fractions when they have different denominators. Example, whats the sum when you add 1/3 and 1/2? What you need to do is to find the Least Common Denominator or the LCD! In this case, their LCD is 6.

The next step is to convert each one to have the same denominator. In this case, 1/3 becomes 2/6 and 1/2 becomes 3/6. They didn’t change their value but they changed denominators. 2/6 is still equivalent to 1/3 and 3/6 is still equivalent to 3/6. Do you follow? Good! Now we can add them…. 2/6 and 3/6 together becomes 5/6! Problem solved.

So how do we apply this marriage. After counseling people for many years, I realize a lot of people focus on differences. From our first counseling session, people would never talk about what their spouses did for them or the many things they loved about each other. They always focus on that one thing that makes them different or that irritated them. Often this causes, stress and recurring pain. Recurring? Why? Because it makes the person feel the way James Ingram did when he said “I did my best, but my best wasn’t good enough so here we are back where we were before.”

I believe everyone wants to be happy! I believe no one wants to get married with the intent of someday filing an annulment. I believe all couples are sincere in doing their best to try to make their marriage work. What happens? They focus on their difference! Instead, why not learn from the math principle above and love each other based on our commonalities.

God’s word says in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things”

Meaning you can focus on your difference but why if you can focus on that mind on something else? If you have a husband who loves leaving dirty clothes on the floor why not love how clean he makes the car? Or the day to day things he does for you? So how do we apply this?

1. Do things together that you both love. Movies? Sports? Nothing?!? Both of you must at least love eating or traveling (most people do). If your answer is still nothing, I think you have to remove that negative emotion inside you first and get to know your spouse a little bit more.

2. Learn to ignore the things that irritate you about Him and appreciate the things that you do. Do it verbally! Let him know you appreciate A, B and C so that he’ll keep on doing them.

3. If this seems difficult, take tests! Yes, its become a science. Now you can find free online tests on personalities, leadership styles, talents where you can discover whats common about you two.

4. Just book that ticket and travel! It might not be appropriate right now specially when you are physically challenged but look at it as an investment in your most important relationship. Remember, usually when marriages fail, not far behind comes chaos, worry, depression and all sorts of emotions. Remember to leave work behind so that you can maximize this adventure of re-discovering one another.

I pray this article helps you. I’ve been in a dry spell but this morning as I awoke, God downloaded to me. Perhaps this article is for someone out there who is tired and sick of their relationship. May this article bless you and give you wisdom and help you live out Proverbs 5:18 which says “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth”

Read more of John and Monique Ong’s WaW Before I Do articles at weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-before-i-do/.

About John & Monique Ong:

John is a pastor at Revelation City Church, Scuba Diving instructor and owns Imagine Nation photo + Video. He is a graduate of business management at DLSU and took up Masteral in Marketing in the same school and is currently in the Pastoral counseling course at Asian Theological Seminary. Monique is a creative wife / help mate to John, a wedding hosts and heads Post Ad ventures (an Events Management company), a youth pastor in Revelation and writes in their blog called “an ounce of faith”. She took Tourism in UP Diliman.

“Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked; does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

A beautiful verse indeed fitting for marriage, except that Paul was actually telling this to the Corinthians, not to teach them about married life, but his point was anything done without love counts to nothing and is meaningless. Even good deeds such as giving money to the poor or helping someone, if you don’t do it out of love, might as well not do it. However, since this was the verse that the couples chose, I gave them a chance to take it back which they refused. So I continued….

In this verse, Paul explains what love is because he knew that in the future, people will use the word “LOVE” without any idea what it means. They will think they do, but later on when realities of life sinks in, they will realize love isn’t there anymore. Why? Because it was their own definition of love and not the real meaning of love. So Paul explains what love should be… So what did he say love should be? The following are just examples and not exhaustive, there are other forms of test to see whether your love needs this characteristic.

1. Patient. – How long are you willing to wait for your wife who is dressing up? Or probably your husband who is playing a video game and you’re already late for your appointment?
2. Kind and is not Rude – How do you speak to one another when you are disappointed? Or when your spouse has mistakenly wronged you and you are hurt.
3. Is not provoked and does not take into account wrong suffered – Are you willing not to bring up any past hurt and only discuss current ones? How many times are you willing to forgive your spouse until you say “you’ll never change!”
4. Does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth – Even when everyone around you says otherwise. Are you willing never to tolerate ungodliness in your family? To be an example yourself to your spouse and future children? This includes refusing to do business that gets into gray areas or bribery or watching movies via downloads. What’s wrong with downloads? Ask the producers….
5. Bears all things – What’s the worst thing your spouse can do?
6. Believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things – Are you truly willing to say that I am marrying this person because I know that whatever comes our way I am willing to stick it out? He or she is God’s best and no one else…

When you’re in the romantic stage still high strung with the bite of the love bug, it’s so easy to say yes you can do all these things, but when you’re already in the middle of trials you realize it’s not as easy as you thought. Truth is, marriage is not easy. It is not as fun as you thought… Many people overlook the flaws of their partner during their dating stage thinking these can be cured by marriage. Wrong! Marriage actually makes things worse! Familiarity often leads to under estimation of value. Why? Because now you see each other every day and you’re quite sure that tomorrow when you wake up your spouse will just be beside you. That goes on until one day, he or she is gone and you realize that you should’ve loved more.

So what’s the solution? Know what real love is… and you can only do so by going to not only the maker, but who love is. No wonder St. John said in one of his letters to the church:

1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

In layman’s terms this is what it means: You can invent your own standard and definition of love, but that’s not real love. If you don’t know God, it will be hard to comprehend what love is. Cause it’s like Kobe beef, I can explain to you how it tastes, maybe even give it some rating and this might give you some sort of idea what I’m talking about but until you get to taste it you won’t know how good it is. Love is like that… until you get to try it firsthand from God, then you only have a slight idea on what it is. God didn’t just tell us what it is, He showed it! Love is putting a higher value on someone over yourself. He sent his Son to die for us!

There is a saying – you can’t give what you don’t have. Try and experience grace from God and you’ll be in a better position to give grace to your spouse. Receive the love of God and you’ll not only know the love mentioned in 1 Cor 13 but you’ll be able to give it out.

Read more of John and Monique Ong’s WaW Before I Do articles at weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-before-i-do/.

About John & Monique Ong:

John is a pastor at Revelation City Church, Scuba Diving instructor and owns Imagine Nation photo + Video. He is a graduate of business management at DLSU and took up Masteral in Marketing in the same school and is currently in the Pastoral counseling course at Asian Theological Seminary. Monique is a creative wife / help mate to John, a wedding hosts and heads Post Ad ventures (an Events Management company), a youth pastor in Revelation and writes in their blog called “an ounce of faith”. She took Tourism in UP Diliman

So here are some tips you can check out if you’re raring to have that outdoor ceremony you’ve been thinking of for so long.

1. 1. Remember that our summers are scorching hot. So avoid choosing to start the ceremony at 3PM. Invitation time should be at 3:30PM so that by the time you’re about to march at 4PM, it would be possible for people to sit down already on the seats and they can actually march without getting skin cancer. By the time you end, i.e. your recessional around 5:30PM, you will have enough time for pictorials as a couple.
   2. It’s a kind gesture to have cold water bottles waiting for guests upon arrival at the ceremony area. You can add foldable fans as well or cardboard fans with your ceremony programme.
   3. If you want to have an early ceremony, i.e. a 2:30PM invitation time, but you’d rather not have a tent or if you’re not sure if the heat will be bearable by the time you want to march, you can give umbrellas as giveaways. They will double up as protection from the sun.
   4. Have lots of cold drinks available at the cocktail area after the ceremony. You can even have ice cream or canapés that have cold toppings so that the guests will feel refreshed while eating them.
   5. If you can help it, avoid having both the ceremony and reception outdoors. That way, guests have a chance to cool down also. Since the reception is longer, I would suggest having it indoors, especially because insects tend to come out at night and if it’s summer, the weather won’t be comfortable even if the sun has set already. It will still be warm — difficult for guests wearing formal clothes.
   6. Your invitation should clearly state the venue and have an illustration of suggested clothes and footwear that would be comfortable for the garden or beach ceremony you wish to have. You’d rather not have godmothers showing up wearing stilettos or super beaded dresses that would make them feel even more warm than it already is.
   7. Your attires as bride, groom, and entourage should match the weather of the day. It’s going to be warm so light and airy clothes are best. Avoid heavy and dark fabrics that will make you sweat all throughout.
   8. Have lots of industrial type coolers so that you can still feel comfortable while having the ceremony/reception outdoors. Four units, i.e. one for each corner, will not suffice.
   9. Visit the venue a year before your big day and a few days before your big day so you are sure your area for ceremony would be the most comfortable area for the guests. I know venues like The Mango Farm give specific areas depending on the month you’re getting married but if yours is a venue that just gives you the freedom to choose without giving advice, then you should visit and really check which area has morning sun so that your afternoon event will not be too affected by the sun’s direct rays.
   10. Avoid confetti blasts during the recessional. You don’t want to affect the grass or the sand with your confetti. Petals are biodegradable so they are fine for your petal shower after the ceremony and group pictorials. You can also use ribbon wands or bubble guns so you don’t end up causing the sand to look dirty after your recessional.
   11. Mention your outdoor ceremony to your florist so he or she can choose flowers that can withstand the heat of the sun.
   12. Do not forget to book a sound system supplier for your outdoor ceremony. Some take for granted that the sound system can just transfer from the ceremony to the reception area and vice versa. Lots of wires to deal with, so they can’t just transfer. You need a group for your ceremony and another one for your reception. Give your musicians’ needs to the sound system provider so that your musicians can be properly heard during the ceremony.

Aside from all the physical preparations, one must also prepare for the actual ceremony. Have the pastor’s programme printed for your coordinators and musicians so they can follow and anticipate what will happen next. Example: while pastor is giving his pieces of advice, the coordinators can already prepare the ring bearer because he will be called to bring the rings next according to the programme given by the pastor. Remember that pastors have the freedom to create their own ceremony programmes so this copy is so important for coordinators and musicians to be prepared for what will happen next. As a couple, you should also prepare for your personal vows and honouring of parents segment. That way, you won’t ramble and end up merely crying and crying there in front. You owe it to God and to these special people to prepare for the moments when you’d have control of the microphone.

Read more of Darlene Tan-Salazar’s WaW Wedding Tip Sheet articles at weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-wedding-tip-sheet/.

Photo Credits: John Kenneth Alejo and Wynndee Penolio. Photography by We Are Seekers.

About Darlene Tan-Salazar, W@W Supplier of Year (2015):

Darlene started out as a Planner/Coordinator of Perfect 10 Weddings. Since she needed more time for family matters, she opted to focus on emceeing, and has since started “The Wedding Tip Sheet“, a Facebook page that tackles the practical points in planning a wedding.

Principal Sponsors are supposedly people in the couple’s lives whom they respect and listen to. They can be people who are popular, powerful, prominent or rich but not necessarily. Unfortunately, because too many people have chosen principal sponsors based on these traits, it has watered down the importance of the role as principal sponsors. Sponsors have said “yes” to becoming sponsors just for the sake of “Delikadeza” never to be seen again after the wedding.

I personally have attended weddings where, to my shock, there have been as many as 15 sets of principal sponsors. So many that it has been branded as “Business” because sponsors are expected to give “Gifts”. Two of the most memorable gifts I was able to witness comes from 2 presidents of the Philippines. First was Ramos who just gave a book on righteous living and the 2nd one comes from GMA when she was still president. She gave a huge heavy wooden box with a nice emblem of “The President of the Philippines” on top of it. Wondering what’s inside, I stayed until it got opened. We were all shocked at what’s inside — Fresh air! There was nothing except the box. I admired these two for giving the gifts they gave… they had the capacity to give more but they did not give in to pressure. The gifts were simple and yet deep.

Now that I officiate weddings as a pastor, I do stress the importance of getting the right Principal Sponsors. At one point in every marriage ceremony I solemnize, I actually spend a few minutes talking to them and making sure they know what they’re getting into and commit to it before the Lord.

Some downplay the role of the principal sponsors, but with all my heart I believe their roles are far more important than to be eye candies during the wedding. Choose the right ones and you never know if someday they’ll be the ones to come to your rescue. Here are my personal criteria for choosing them.

Relationship – No matter how great your sponsors are, if there is no relationship (or chemistry). Get sponsors who you will often see or at least reachable in case you need them. Not someone who you only see every 5 years. Do not let your parents dictate who you should get simply because they are partners in business or close friends. If they are truly their dear friends, or partners, then explain to them that they are doing them a favor by sparing them the trouble. Don’t get people who are so high in their status that you can’t contact them directly or you’d have to schedule a slot with their secretary to get an appointment. Either they won’t have time for you or won’t even remember who you are.

I’ve personally said “no” to many offers to be one of the principal sponsors because I want to be a responsible sponsor who will be there when my inaanaks need me.

Righteous living – Unfortunately, Rich is not one of the R’s. There are many more things that are far more important than money. Righteousness does not mean being right in man’s eyes. The righteousness I am talking about is being right before God! This criteria is good for Christians and non-Christians alike. If you read the bible, you’d know what I am talking about. A righteous man is indeed a sponsor you’d love to have.

Respected – At least enough for you to listen to him or her. If you don’t respect your sponsor, you won’t even bother talking to the person in case your marriage encounters bumps. I personally will respect a person who I know has wisdom and loves me enough to tell me the truth even when it hurts.

So, if you’ve gotten married years back and it’s now too late to get married, what must you do? Here are 2 things you can do. Reconnect with them even if you’ve not heard from each other since the wedding, which was 10 years ago. Give them a call and ask if you could visit them in your homes. I’m sure they’d appreciate that. If you had sponsors who did not fit the criteria I gave, then find a couple’s group whose leader lives a life worthy to be followed. Perhaps, in case you guys decide to renew your vows someday, you’d have a better chance to pick good sponsors.

Read more of John and Monique Ong’s WaW Before I Do articles at weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-before-i-do/.

About John & Monique Ong:

John is a pastor at Revelation City Church, Scuba Diving instructor and owns Imagine Nation photo + Video. He is a graduate of business management at DLSU and took up Masteral in Marketing in the same school and is currently in the Pastoral counseling course at Asian Theological Seminary. Monique is a creative wife / help mate to John, a wedding hosts and heads Post Ad ventures (an Events Management company), a youth pastor in Revelation and writes in their blog called “an ounce of faith”. She took Tourism in UP Diliman.

You might get asked a million questions especially regarding when and where you’d like to have your wedding. You might also get bombarded with so many recommendations from well-meaning and not-so-well-meaning individuals.

How do you deal with this new phase in your life?

First, tell your parents of your plan to get married. We live in a society where “pamamanhikan” is still important. The process of the groom asking the bride-to-be’s parents for her hand in marriage may be old fashioned but for a lot of families, this process is important because it implies that the groom respects them and their position in the life of their daughter. It is also important for the groom to tell his own parents of his plans, after all, the groom’s parents should be present during the formal pamamanhikan.

Second, before you go and visit a bridal fair, read up about wedding preps first. There are reputable sites where one can get information from fellow couples – those who are further along in terms of preparations or who are already done with their weddings. They can give valuable pieces of advice and they can give you their reviews of suppliers. Of course, reviews must be taken with a grain of salt. One or two negative reviews should not prevent you from considering a supplier especially if the said supplier has a lot of positive ones. (Personally, I would advise that you join the Weddings at Work community so you can have a support group as you go through your preparations.)

Going to a bridal fair, unarmed with reviews and the like, will make you prone to impulse booking. Reading up about a supplier after giving your down payment is never a good practice. You can’t get your down payment back because most have clauses in their contracts that reservation fees are non-refundable.

Third, it’s always better to finalize your date before sending out inquiries. That will make things easier since the suppliers can tell you right away if they are still open for bookings or if your date is already taken. No need to spend time discussing packages and your wedding plans if the supplier can’t handle your date anyway. Note: This date should be one that you also consulted with your parents, because some end up changing dates due to the parents’ insistence.

Fourth, if you’re not the type who is easily satisfied, then don’t go for a package deal. Avoid going for full planning as well, because you will end up researching even if you’ve been given options by the coordinator/planner whom you hired. Complete your roster of suppliers on your own and hire a day coordinator. That person can guide you but you can get the satisfaction of having researched for yourself. Being busy at work is not a good reason for getting a full planning service. As the saying goes, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”.

Fifth, have a working budget for your wedding but get ready to add a bit more to it once you’ve gone around your first bridal fair and you’ve seen actual rates. I would not advise that you already book suppliers on your first bridal fair unless you researched regarding the said supplier already.

Bonus Tip: Remember that the greatest deal is not always the lowest deal. It is the deal where you can get more bang for your buck. If the supplier is the type who will go the extra mile for you, then you are in good hands, and believe me, on the day, you will need these kinds of suppliers.

Read more of Darlene Tan-Salazar’s Wedding Tip Sheet articles at weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-wedding-tip-sheet/.

About Darlene Tan-Salazar, W@W Supplier of Year (2015):

Darlene started out as a Planner/Coordinator of Perfect 10 Weddings. Since she needed more time for family matters, she opted to focus on emceeing, and has since started “The Wedding Tip Sheet“, a Facebook page that tackles the practical points in planning a wedding.