Editor’s Note: Since the topic on exes is sensitive in nature, we changed some of the names to protect the members of our community.
One of the most interesting discussions we have in the WaW community is the topic on exes. Do you or do you not invite your ex to your wedding?
For some people, no comes easy since their ties with their exes had been severed ages ago, but the situation may be a bit more complicated for others.
For instance, there is a love child involved or the so-called ex is your fiancé’s close relative.
We sorted through the WaWies’ answers and here are some of their insights:
A Big NO
Many of the WaWies said no for practical reasons, while others gave more thoughtful answers .
“No. I prefer not to invite him since hindi naman kami close and hindi rin sila close in H2B,” says Jennifer. “I know H2B and his family will not like to see him on our big day. It will be our big day so I would rather not include my ex on our celebration.”
She points out, “my H2B did not invite his ex too. We would like to minimize the number of our guests so we would rather give the slot to a person close and important to the both of us.”
Kimi answers, “No. Out of respect for my husband.” Then adds, “parang weird din kasi, haha. Wala rin naman kami masyadong contact ni ex and wala rin akong in-invite na College friends (naging kami nung College kasi).”
Raquel goes, “No for both of us. We had both moved on from our exes who were and are no longer part of our lives.”
“We both agreed not to invite exes and their families kasi it would sound like planning to remain friends with the ex,” thinks Ann. “And for sure hindi naman namin maaalala ang absence in ex sa wedding, but the other would surely remember the ex’s presence.”
Ann actually had a more sensitive reason for not inviting her fiance’s ex. “Muntik pa siya maging dahilan para magkasala si boyfriend sa akin noon!”
A Bigger NO
Which brings us to why inviting the ex is not an option for our other WaWies.
“Nope. Si hubby kasi ang reason kung bakit kami nag-break ni ex…and hindi pa rin ako ina-add ni ex sa FB…hahaha…medyo bitter lang,” admits Tine.
“No,” says Rose. “I’m friends with my exes, but hubby is not with his. ‘Yung isa, inaway pa talaga ako before, hahaha! We agreed na lang to be fair, we will not invite any of them.”
“Hindi, hehe,” Len says. “Third party namin ni ex yung napangasawa niya, kaya awkward naman.” She continues, “saka not in good terms kami ni ex.”
“A big NO,” Lyn laughs. “All hell will break loose kapag in-invite niya ang ex niya, haha!”
Yes to the Ex
Some of our other WaWies don’t see any problem inviting their exes to their wedding.
“Yes, I invited my ex sa wedding namin kasi isang barkada lang and married na rin naman siya nun, so keri na lang sa akin,” Ivy explains.
Dhaey took it step further, “Yes, we invited our exes sa wedding. Sa katunayan, isa sa kanila kumanta sa bridal march ko, then yung isang ex ko naman, mom niya ninang naming sa kasal.”
“One of his exes, yes,” volunteers Yana. “Kasi high school barkada niya ‘yun saka malapit naman kami, so no problem.”
Jessa, too, was okay with inviting her fiancé’s ex. “I invited my fiance’s ex. She’s happily married na with a kid. I invited her because she was nice naman and she helped us book our hotel.” She adds, “she’s based in the US, I don’t think she’ll fly back home just to attend our wedding.”
Talk it over with your fiancé/fiancée
While there may be pressure from other people or situations to invite an ex, ultimately, the decision should only be between the bride and the groom.
If there are no issues involved, when you bear no ill feeling towards the ex; or when the ex is not seen as an ex but a friend; when both of you feel good about having the person around on your big day, then there shouldn’t be any problem inviting him or her.
Krystle agrees, “I invited my first ex kasi his sister is my best friend and one of my bridesmaids, plus his parents are my ninong and ninang. Super good terms kami pati ni hubby, so no problem there.”
However, if the only reason is that the ex is part of the barkada and will be the only one left out of the list, it is important to consult your fiancé/fiancée first, after all, you don’t want to make the other uncomfortable because of an unwanted guest in your party.
As Benz puts it, “what better statement to your partner that his or her comfort is above any friend’s feelings!”