This is just a thinking out loud article so please pardon me. What if you got John Mateos Ong to be your best man and do a 10 minute speech during the reception about making your marriage work what would he say? Here are the top 5 things on my mind…
Invite Jesus in – This is the most important thing you can do so don’t take it for granted. You can go to church, you can pray (or at least murmur a bunch of words) and even read the bible but if you have not surrendered yourself then it’s all useless. When I say Surrender it means the same as how a soldier would surrender himself to the enemy. It means stopping the the fight, giving up and allowing him. It means submitting yourself to God’s will, His rules and dominion over you realizing and believing what he wants is the best for you. You may not agree with it 100% but you know in case you don’t see eye to eye — He’s probably right and you’re probably wrong.
It’s a process – Marriage is not the end, its the start of a new journey and from here I wanna ask you where you want to go. Do you want to make it heavenly or hell like? What must you do? Here are some suggestions:
- Dating never stops after marriage.
- Be in a group that regularly asks – How is marriage? How can it improve?
- Get into annual marriage retreats where you can enjoy each other and know more about each other.
Leave your baggage – Since today is the starting point, I think this is a must. Your problems and issues must be left in the past life. Accept each other as a whole, flaws and all. Unfortunately, you can’t be selective in what you want to accept in your spouse like “I love your sweetness but I hate your snoring so lets separate rooms at night”. No! it’s all part of the package…
Remember you are a team – You don’t lose your individual identities. I am still John and Monique is still Monique but you have to learn to start thinking about the “US”. Purchases, trips or decisions that affect the family. You two are on the same team and never against each other. Problems start when you start thinking she’s my enemy.
Do things together and be together – I wrote an article a few months back about doing things together and these things best done when you are together physically. I am sad when one person needs to be away for several months for work. I get homesick and miss my family the minute I get on the plane. It is not how God designed it.
As I end this article, my encouragement for all husbands & wives is to be passionate about your role as husband and wife. When I discovered photography, I didn’t just buy a camera. I researched on it’s history, I bought books, watched videos, attended seminars and workshops… I cleaned my camera day and night and took it wherever I went. I would talk about it with friends sharing new discoveries that I learned. When I’m not doing anything, I would open my laptop and look at my pictures to see how I can improve. That’s passion! And if we can be like this with something as simple as photography why can we not do the same for marriage? Wives should hunger to become the best wife she can be and how they can serve their husbands best… and husbands should be on-fire at becoming the best husband and loving their wives like no one can (except for God).
Read more of John and Monique Ong’s WaW Before I Do articles at www.weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-before-i-do/.