We want to get intimate with you in this article by discussing a very beautiful act and yet a highly discreet topic: SEX.
You see, during the wedding, the guests brings their gift for the newlyweds as their way of helping them start off their married life. God gives more than a gift. He gives the newlyweds the blessing of sex. Sex here is not the taboo one but a beautiful way to become one with your spouse. It is the best form of communication and intimacy. I know many (not all) couples already pre-opened this gift and tried it before the wedding. This gift may not excite them as much. But for many who waited – this is precious because sex is a true form of worship to God under the blessings of marriage. On their wedding day God gives them their blessing to go forth and multiply.
We’ve heard about it and probably watched it in movies… husband asking the wife for sex and she gives excuses like “I’m tired” or “I have a headache” or vice versa. Whenever Monique and I do counseling, one of the first questions we ask is “How is sex life?”. This usually catches them off-guard but it’s an important question because more than their issues, it gives us a hint on the real health of their marriage.
Let’s see what the Bible says:
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” ??1 Corinthians? ?7:3-5? ?NIV??
So what can we learn from this?
1. Sex is not only a gift but a duty. I know it’s best when it’s given freely but unfortunately, in our experience as counselors many couples don’t get enough sex. One of the first real warning sign of marriage failure is that sex becomes less frequent.
2. After marriage your body is not your own – Here is the bad news: it is now conjugal property! Your body is now shared with your spouse. But don’t worry – Your spouse’s is yours as well and last time I checked, 50% + 50% is still 100%. So serve each other by providing time for sex. Don’t wait to be asked, initiate if you must.
3. Sex is pleasurable. Keep enjoying it by exploring ways to give each other satisfaction and joy. So do not limit yourselves into a monotonous acts. Be adventurous.
4. Putting it off is not permanent – God knows there will be times when you really can’t do it – you’ve got deadlines, you are sick or whatever that is (not in the mood is not an excuse)… when you do that, it has to mutually agreed upon and the rescheduled. Example: “I’m sorry hon, I’ve got deadlines I need to finish tonight. Can we do it tomorrow?”
5. Sex is safeguarding – Whenever I go on my long trips its a must that before I leave we have to “do it”, it’s sort of like pa-baon. God’s word says, you have to have sex so you will stay away from temptation. Imagine doing grocery while hungry, your bill probably goes up right because as you went through each lane, everything was just so good. Try going there on a full stomach, you’d probably ignore the things you don’t really need. Sex is like that, when you are well fed at home, there is a likely chance you will get tempted outside.
Sex is beautiful… My encouragement for couples is have a healthy married life by not ignoring your sex life.
Read more of John & Monique’s WaW Before I Do articles at weddingsatwork.com/category/waw-before-i-do/.
- About John & Monique Ong:
John is a pastor at Revelation City Church, Scuba Diving instructor and owns Imagine Nation photo + Video. He is a graduate of business management at DLSU and took up Masteral in Marketing in the same school and is currently in the Pastoral counseling course at Asian Theological Seminary. Monique is a creative wife / help mate to John, a wedding hosts and heads Post Ad ventures (an Events Management company), a youth pastor in Revelation and writes in their blog called “an ounce of faith”. She took Tourism in UP Diliman.